Zayn Malik has finally opened up after the tragic demise of his One Direction band mate and close friend Liam Payne. Payne passed away on Thursday after allegedly falling from the third floor of his hotel in Argentina, where he was staying with his girlfriend. Taking to Instagram, Zayn posted an old picture of the two, in which they can be see sleeping while hugging each other.

The note read, “I have found myself talking out loud to you, hoping you can hear me, I can’t help but think selfishly that there are so many more conversations for us to have in our lives. I never got to thank you for supporting me through some of the most difficult times in my life.”

The 31-year-old artiste went on to share moments when Liam stood by him. “When I was missing home as a 17 year old kid you would always be there with a positive outlook and reassuring smile and let me know that you were my friend and that I loved. Even though you were younger than me you were always more sensible than me, you were headstrong, opinionated, and gave no f— about telling people when they were wrong. Even though we butted heads because of this a few times, I always secretly respected you for it,” Zayn confessed.

He further talked about the music sensibilities that Liam possessed and how he was better than all. “When it came to the music Liam, you were the most qualified in every sense. I knew nothing in comparison, l was a novice child with no experience and you were already a professional. I was always happy to know, no matter what happened on stage we could always rely on you to know which way to steer the ship next.”

A clearly upset Zayn calls Liam his further and added, “I lost a brother when you left us and can’t explain to you what I’d give to just give you a hug one last time and say goodbye to you properly and tell you that I loved and respected you dearly. I will cherish all the memories I have with you in my heart forever, there is no words that justify or explain how I feel right now other than beyond devastated.”

Just before that, remaining four former members of music band One Direction, released a joint statement to condole Liam’s death. “In time, and when everyone is able to, there will be more to say, But for now, we will take some time to grieve and process the loss of our brother, who we loved dearly. The memories we shared with him will be treasured forever,” read the note issued on behalf of Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan and Harry Styles.